Anandi

My Diary
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2002-06-12 20:20:42 (UTC)

Getting Worse

I think its getting to sink in what actually happened. I
suddenly feel this strange kind of fear that seems to pull
me down. I am going to be learning to drive soon... Should
I be scared? Amul says i'm being too paranoid. Vishal
said "don't worry it'll take time and then you'll be
fine"...what do I want? Letting go of someone so special is
so hard. I don't think I'll ever forget sunday or yesterday
in my life. Today at school, Shalini, Fathima and Ruchita
just came and hugged me. None of us knew what to say...we
just knew it had happened too close to home and this day
would stay with us forever. I almost broke down at school,
but i stayed strong. I had exams...I couldn't mess up on
those because that is what my future will be...my future
without my love. It seems so strange now. I never thought I
loved him...now that I lost him I know I do. God, is this
how you show us who's really special to us? If yes, then
why cause others pains of losing someone...I met his
brother, his brother had to hold me tightly so that I
wouldn't faint. Is that what this is all coming down to? Is
there more to this than we can understand? I want to thank
all my friends for standing by me through this whole thing.
I'm surviving with all your good wishes and
thoughts....Thank you sooo much!


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