A Place of Lost Hope
2002-06-12 20:17:55 (UTC)

Boys and the categories they fall under

I've come tot he conclusion that all boys fall
under some kind of category. Either the ones that you lust
after, the ones that you date, or the ones that you marry.
I guess well all come into contact with the ones that you
lust after. Hell every man that we meet we in some way
lust after them. Even if you don't think about it and get
it right away, there is always the potential in lusting
after someone. Then there are those that you just don't
want to have sex with. They are the ones that you want to
get to know and want to talk with. These are the guys that
you can potentially seeing yourself love. Then there are
those that you want to marry. The ones that you can see
yourself with in about 10 or 15 years from now. They are
the ones that you can see yourself having kids with. Those
boys are the ones that you want to keep in a box and lock
it up forever.

I've had the pleasure of meeting two guys
that I could see myself marrying. One was someone that
lived in California, and deep with in my head I knew that
there was no chance in hell that I was ever going to get
the chance to have some sort of romantic relationship
with. The other one is Jay. For some reason I'm head over
heels for this boy and I don't know why. Hell he doesn't
even know it. To tell you the truth now that I sit back
and look at the things that are going on with him and my
little sister, I'm not sure if he is the right one. I
don't know what I'm going to do any more. His roommate,
Josh, knows that I like him. And my really close friends
know that I like him, but that's it. I'm almost scared to
tell him what it is that my feelings are. Every night
before I go to bed I sit down and I write. These last past
few night have been nothing but letters and poems that I
never thought I would write about. I don't know what to do
any more.