2002-06-12 10:57:38 (UTC)

4 - 2

I've debated about saying this, but like she says, just say
it. I don't think she really truly understands how much I
care about her. She may have a pretty good idea, but its
more than she knows I think. This may be a bit drastic,
but if somebody pointed a gun at her, I would stand in the
way. I wouldn't let anybody hurt her. I would make sure
of that. At the same time, I don't think she really truly
knows that I can support her without being with her. I can
be her friend without being her lover. I'd rather love
her, but right now I am able to hold off because I care
about her. Her situation means that I throw my feelings
aside so she can get through this without my distraction.
She has 4 people to think about, I only have 2. With her,
its me, her, him and her daughter. With me, its just me
and her. I was thinking about something yesterday. I'm
the least person involved here. I don't matter as much as
the other 3 coz they are the family and I'm an outsider who
got invited in. I'm not mad about it. It doesn't hurt my
feelings. Its just an observation. Girl, go and take care
of what you need to take care of. Know that I love you,
but know that you don't need to think of me when you go
through what you're going through. I will be here no
matter what. Even if we never see each other again, I hope
thats not true, I will be ok. Life and love move on. Just
don't forget, I'm here if you ever need me. Take care.
Love you, BYE!!!