KeeshaLynn
A Place of Lost Hope
So angry with myself
Have you ever gotten to the point where your so
frustrated with someone that you never want to talk to them
again? Well, I have and it's happening now. I can't help
but look at Samantha, my baby sister, and Jay, the a
potential love interest, and think about how much I don't
want to talk to her. You see, Samantha knows how much I
like him, and still hangs all over him. Now, don't get me
wrong. I love that the two of them get a long with one
another, but I don't like them getting a long this well.
Frankly, it scares me and I think that might be the reason
I'm not eating.
Now before you start thinking I'm anorexic or
anything a long that lines, I'm not. Please....I think I
would be the last person to get that. However, as of late
I haven't been on the best of eating schedules. I mean,
that last decent thing I had to eat was about five days
ago, and even then I wanted to be sick after taking the few
bites that I did. I don't know what it is. I think that
it's the simple fact that this guy, that I so desspretly
want to have, has told me time and time again that he likes
the mid portion [from about mid stomach to mid thigh] of a
woman. That's something that I don't have, and I think
that because of that my body has essentially told my
stomach to stop eating. I mean, in the long run it might
do me some kind of good. But right now, everyone is
starting to think that I have this mental disorder that
I've tried so hard to help my friends out with. I think
that I would be the last person that anyone would expect to
have something like that.
But, back to the topic at hand shall we. You see,
I want to spend time with Jay alone, but that's near
impossible because we somehow always wind up around people
one of us know. I just don't know what to do anymore. I
know that I can't say something unless he feels the same
way I do. You see, I treasure the friendship that he and I
share, and there is nothing in this world that I would want
to come between that. I won't let myself ruin something
that I hold so dear to my heart.
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