riceplanter

Theories, Thoughts, & What Ifs
2001-06-18 00:51:22 (UTC)

A Long Time

I haven't wrote in my diary for a long time now. I think
it's because I'm trying to shy away from my life and I don't
want to write it down because then I know that I'll have
something to dwell on later, when I'm not in a very pleasant
mood.

Is it wrong to think this way? To not write down how I feel?
I used to do it all the time and then all of a sudden it
just stopped. I don't know, maybe I'm not as strong as I
think I am. Maybe I'm the insecure and weak one.

I show people that I can be strong, and that I can talk big,
just like the rest of the big boys. What am I thinking? How
can I fool myself this way? Is this the way that I'm
destined to be? Never knowing the true me, not knowing what
I'm truly capable of?




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