Mystical

My addiction

Dear Journal,
What am i doing. Am I just fooling myself? I
don't know.I doubt I will ever be truly liked by any
guy.(Jake inparticalar...maybe even Brian) Perhaps...no one
will ever appreciate my very existance. I truly appreciate
those people who say that I am a nice person and such, but
to believe these would probably just be temporary
mind relief. It's like those painkilles, that never improve
your actual problem, but just make you feel better. For the
time being I am addicted to sleeping pills. It makes me so
mad when I just pop one in my mouth before I actully try to
fall asleep first.

I am going to go on a crash diet. NOt eat anything fo a
week and just drink tons of water and excersise! I'm really
going to try...I don';t know if its going to work...but I'll
try anything.