stini2002

foolish
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2001-06-17 18:22:57 (UTC)

To get skinny

Diary,
I can't take it anymore! I am going on a diet for
once and for all. I shall get below 100 pounds. I shall be
skinny, slim, svelte. I shall be something i'm not.
I myself would not have minded myself that much,
but my mom and aunt have to give me tons of crap over my
looks. I'm too ugly and fat. I have to lose weight. Just
yesterday, I was out with my family ( my parents, aunt, and
uncle.)The entire conversation ( that was in chinese
between my aunt and mom), was over my weight. How I was
getting fat and grosse. How if I didn't immediatly lose
weight, i would go over the limit, and become and ugly ogre
of a monster. I have too much fat on my legs, stomach,
arms, face, butt. My foot is even fat. I have lard
everywhere on my body. I'm too short and way too fat for my
height. People have to take extra energe just to walk
around me. My fingers are too wide. I havem groose cheeks,
like a bull-dog. Humongous.
When we wen't to the resturant, my mom and aunt were
rationing my food, because i shouldn't eat food. I
shouldn't eat in genearl. I shouldn't allow anything to
pass my mouth and enter my already bloated,fat, disgusting
body. I should never get in anything like a swimsuit again
in my life. Until i reach below 100. That's not that bad.
My friend is my height, but actually has a chest, and she's
87 pounds. And she's pretty and gets plenty of guys.
Therefor, that is my goal. Fuck my health, i could care
less. Let's see......my body analyzations you
want/??....here let me go weight myself...117 pounds ( like
a whale)......i'm 5"2 (0r 3......depends on who's
measuring). I'm already 7 pounds overweight. I'll probalby
die of some fat related death if i don't lose weight
anyways. That's it.......it's plainly for health reasons.
I'm going to reach below 100 pounds ( at
minimum).......perhaps 87 .......like my friend........
it would be easier for me.......i don't even have a
chest..... nah......i'll try to go below 100 first.....then
i'll reach for higher goals......then maybe i'll look ok in
a bikini. I won't have these grosse fat legs......My face
will be skinnier.......i'll have more graceful arms......a
smaller back.......a nicer tummy......Evertyhing would be
better.......
Well......my dieting starts today....i'm only eating
dinner........everything before that's going to be like raw
fruit and veggies, water, no fat.....less meat.......less
pork.....etc....more protein....less carbo.....and of
course plenty of fluids......Maybe i'll start the Herbalife
diet or somethign.......it seems to work well...

Here's to a new Christine......

A small one......


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