2001-06-17 12:54:25 (UTC)

I had a really good dinner just..

I had a really good dinner just now, maybe queer to some,
but a nice one for me. I had sausages, scrambled eggs and
fishballs. There were also a bowl of baked beans and cream
of mushroom soup. Besides that, there was white bread.
However it took my an hour to finish all that food when
usually 20 minutes would suffice. The reason? Excruciating

Why did I ever say yes to have braces on my teeth? Not that
my word would have had any influence on the final decision.
Why pay so much money to suffer pain for almost a week
every month. It is not just any mild pain that can be
brushed off. The pain is excruciating and every time the
dentist tighten them, a gentle stroke with the toothbrush
will send every nerve screaming. My teeth aren't even
crooked. And beginning this week, I have to wear two
horrible rubber bands that keep slipping off when I eat. I
simply love my life.

Tomorrow, I will be disecting rats. Any urge I have to
study is slowing depleting (if that is the correct word).
Who says I can't concentrate? Sure, I can sit at my desk
for hours, dreaming not studying. I really don't want to do
it anymore and exam is 4 months away.

Yesterday night, I took a new blade (it was a sterilised
one... for my scalpel) and I lay it across the skin of my
left wrist where the pulse is strongest. I chickened out
for fear of pain. I hate myself.