Scenes from a Marriage
2001-06-17 07:24:44 (UTC)

Sunday, June 17th

Wow, I was really impressed with the shrink I saw, he asked
me about 10 questions and said this is what I see. "Here
you are the only daughter of a nurse and a dad who saw
everything in black and white and who was in control of
everything, they have been married 37 years and you see
marriage as something very serious and long lasting. You
seem well educated, two Bachelor's degrees and good at
reaching your goals, and here you are thrown into this mess
with your husband cheating, and having sex with a 17 year
old. Your heart and your logical mind are conflicted over
what you want to do and what you think you should do." He
said that I also have to remember that if my hand has an
infection and must be cut off to avoid dying, than that is
what I must do----his way of saying if the husband is not
willing to change his ways than I must be willing to let
him go. He also said he would see my husband one time at
my next appointment to explain to him the situation he has
put me in and how his actions have contributed to my
depression. He is very straight forward, tell it like it
is person, a foreign Dr. Phil I suppose. He said it would
be two weeks before I see a change with the medicine, but
it should help my mood swings and keep me on an even tone.
I could use some even tone in my life.

Michael has been good about me working midnights this
weekend, but I don't know if my body likes it, I feel all
out of sorts. I am confused, my sleep was all disrupted
today because I slept when I got home, then woke Michael
and BJ for the baseball games---they left with Justin, I
went back to sleep woke up for the doctor at 11:45 am. So
that was about 2.5 hours of sleep. Then BJ had a hockey
game at 3:00 pm, went to that and then went back to bed
about 4:30 and slept until 7:30, so it was a total of 5.5
which is about normal, but it was not all at the same
time. I will get to sleep all together tomorrow, nothing
to do but Father's Day stuff and that can be done late
afternoon or evening time. I have to stop on the way home
this morning and get cards and my dad that fish clock.
Michael's stuff is wrapped, I hope he likes it, it was
exactly what he said he wanted so I hope so.

The attorney's office finally called us tonight, after
Michael threatened to drive to OK with Jordan. He lied
again tonight, here we think we make one inch of progress
only to find out it is not. The social worker for the
lawyer could not believe all the things that we were
telling her about him hearing voices, etc. Then to top it
off she says in order to remove him we have to provide
documentation of these events, I am sure they made their
birth mother provide documentation about their history when
they were placed, if they would have then we would have
never gotten into this mess. Someone told me I should sue
the lawyer for breech of services, as she is supposed to be
their legal guardian and available at all times for
decision that need to be made about them and she has
been "unavailable" for 3 months.