Life as I know it.
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being all shades of shady
Well the past few days have been fun, though I think I have
been acting the shadiest I could have ever acted. Like
finidng a job, I think I found one, but I was happy being
unemployed and I was telling my mother more than what i was
really doing on finding a job. But I got one now so I can
end that shady occurence.
Also last night, Heather, Rana, Jaqi, D, Adam and I
proceeded to just get fucked up sitting on Heathers
balcony, both legal and illegal ways. It was fun, with the
mixture of substances I was thorougly fucked up by 11pm
which was fun.
Also I think birds livei my walls........how does one
exactly fix that problem?
Today well Im supposed to be going to the museum with
Heather...then out to dinner with john, and to the club
with john. Woohoo fun fun fun......really its fun, just
the same ole same ole and I do like routine=0)
Yeah you are ready for that matt saga part right? This one
will be short tho, cause I havent really been thinkingabout
him much...okay so i have, but its still a lot less than
what i have been doing.
I wrote him a letter, yes slap me, it wasnt a bad letter, I
just had things I needed to say to him, and I also wanted
him to know that I really dont hate him but I just cant
deal with talking to him right now. Maybe an email once a
week to see whats up and how eachother is doing is great,
but not like every few days or anything....you know? And I
said when I think I can look at him and even imagine him
not being with me at all, when all hope of that is gone, I
can be his friend again, maybe. It wont be the same ever
again between us, we have a history together not as friends
but as more than that...and its going to be hard to revert
to that when im used to him being my boyfriend=0/ Time
heals all wounds. so cliche i know, but its helping.
Oh I also saw his porch lights on and i was like he's
having a party too. Which surprisingly didnt infuriate me
or make me upset. I was like "good for him". So im doing
a lot better....on a scale of 1-100 on how much I am healed
over him ill say only 35% cause I know im not that far but
im a lot better every day. My plan is that by the end of
July to be at least 70% healed and maybe have a day when I
dont think about him......which is hard cause i still think
on a daily basis of everyone I have ever known...sounds
weird but I miss people a lot.
Anyway off to get a shower than hopefully going to the
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