The Confusion That I Call My Lif
2000-10-22 22:29:04 (UTC)

Well, considering the fact that..

Well, considering the fact that this is my first entery, and I'm
allowing my diary to be public, let me tell you a little about myself.

I am 16 years old (female), I live in Naples, FL, I am a junior at
Barron Coolier High School, I am Roman Catholic, I run a pro-life
organization here in Naples, I sing in the Barron Collier High School
Concert and Womens Coirs...I am a second alto, I live to play
volleyball although I do not play for the school...mainly because of
the people on the team, they are shall we say a little less than
pleasent to be around, and it is hard for me to be on a team with
people that I know won't work together if you paid them to...they do
not co-operate for anything, and that is probibly why they are shall
we say less than an amazing team.

Anyways, I should probibly tell you know that it has been sudjested
to me to that I am a manic-depressive, but the only thing that I have
ever done about it is go to a depression screening, and all it said
is that I am "more likely than most to be/become depressed"...that
didn't realy help me too much. For right now, I am just going to live
my life and if it becomes a major problem, I'll see about getting
help, but I don't think that I have reached that point yet.

I also would realy appreciate your input on my life...please e-mail
me if you have any comments [email protected] and if anyone want's to
know what I look like, e-mail me and I'll send one to you.

Right now the one thing that has realy been on my mind, and I am
having problems with is something that happened to me a few weeks
ago. I met a guy on-line and after a few days, we decided to
meet...we only live like 5 min. away from each other...we decided to
go to the beach. Well, we hit it off pretty well. I was realy
nervious though...that was the first and only time that I have ever
meet someone (in person) that I had meet on-line.

He was realy nice, and atractive, and I realy was starting to like
him...and maybe that's why I didn't stop him from kissing me. But you
know about that whole one thing led to another? Well this is one
situation that I can honestly say that it applies. Well we ended up
haveing sex. The thing is that I didn't stop him, but after a few
minutes, I knew that it didn't feel right (doing it), but I didn't
have to ask him to stop...he stopped, he was the one that said that
it didn't feel right, and that he wanted to stop. If that isn't bad
enough, I am 16...he is 19, and I lied to him on-line and told him
that I was 18.Well, I couldn't not tell him now, so I told him. He
was lets say just slightly pissed off.

After that he told me that he didn't want to talk to me...EVER. And
that hurt. But it's one of those things that you just kind of have to
except and move on with your life. Well I was doing that, and doing
fairly well at doing so, but right after I was starting to do realy
good, he IMed me. He asked me if I remembered everything that had
happened...I said yes (how could I possibly NOT remember?) and then
he asked me if everything was "normal" after that. Well that sort of
ran a shock of terrer though my spine, but it turned out that he was
just adking me if I was pregnent. Well, the answer is no.

But we ended up talking for a little bit and then I got off-line. I
ended the conversation saying that if he wanted to talk again for him
to IM me, and that if he didn't that that was OK too.

Well, I'll write more later, but I have to go...