Weezaholic Geek

the time of your life
2002-06-07 00:15:30 (UTC)

realization.

Mood: Unsure of my mood
Music: 'For You to Notice...' - Dashboard Confessional

As I'm reading Nicholas Sparks' book "The Rescue" I am
realizing what I truly want and desire from life. Katie
gave me this book for Christmas, and I started reading
it...but then I started reading Harry Potter...and Harry
took me on a whimsical ride of dragon slaying, spell
casting, and magical tales. But now as I await the 5th
Harry Potter, I picked up the Rescue again. And I've been
reading it all day.

For those who haven't read any Nicholas Sparks books (A
Walk to Remember, The Notebook, Message in a Bottle)...his
stories are all about falling in love, fate, and soul
mates. Whether it be teenagers, single parents, or single
adults...his stories always include two people unsure of
themselves, fatefully finding their soul mates and falling
in love. As I read about this...I realize I long for it.

Yes, I have a boyfriend, and so far our relationship has
been great. And he is sweet to me, everything I expect. He
doesn't fall short of my standards at all. But I seem to
want excitement, things out of the ordinary, romance and
true love. TRUE love. There's a term that scares the life
out of me. But I still long for it. I think I have only had
2 truly romantic nights in my life. And one, should have
never happened. But we won't get into that story right now.
Moving along, the other night was when James cooked dinner
for me. It was such a fancy dinner, he made it all himself,
and I helped him peel shrimp. And during that, I smiled at
him and simply said "We're cooking together" And he kissed
me right there in the kitchen. It still makes me melt
thinking about it. Then the evening proceeded with us
hanging out at Jameson's house. But after that, we had to
walk home because my Dad was coming to get me. And I don't
know if it was the simplicity and innocence of it, but just
us walking home at night, holding hands...just us and the
street lights. I long for that kind of feeling and romance
every single day.

I don't know if my recent feelings for James (the falling
in love feelings) have been for real, or just a result of
my desire to fall in love. I hope it is for real. None the
less, I still love him as a person. And I know I some of my
friends are reading this and throwing up from the
sappiness, but I hope I got a smile out of at least one of
you. Because I'm being for real here.

I want to be in love.




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