Visions Of Life
2002-06-06 15:49:48 (UTC)


This is a copy of the letter i wrote at 3am. Its laying on
my bed now.. I fell asleep with a towel under my arm, a
blade in my right hand and this letter on me somewhere..

Ive lost the most important thing in my life. My most
important dream, of spending the rest of my life with the
man i love is shattered. The light has gone out and all
that is left is darkness within. Love is a sham. Life is
just one big fucking sham. I have nothing left to live for.
I have no reason to wake another day. Im a failure at
everything, including love. No matter how hard i try at
things, i always fuck up. All i do is disappoint people and
im sorry. Im sorry i wasnt the perfect person everyone
expected me to be. Im sorry i always fell short. Im sorry
im a coward

-Name Signed Here

i want to die but my options are limited.. i cant deal with
the pain of slashing my wrists. I keep trying and im a
fuckin baby. Ralroad track is the only way i can see that
will work. But i cant find the fuckin track no matter where
i look. Its near me but i cant find it. Fuck. I do not want
to deal with another day. It hurts so much to even look at
him. I dont dare look in a mirror. Ive lost the only thing
that matters. Again, i must state id never kill myself over
a guy.Here is why im killing myself. Just about everything
was dark ecept for one tiny light. That light is now gone
and im left all alone in my internal darkness. Whats the
point of living when you have no hope? Whats the point of
living when everything is not going to be okay? Id rather
die a painful death then bear another day of this hell. I
hate evrything so much including myself. I just need
courage or a burst of unstable emotional energy. Goodbye