Sal Paradise

Sal Paradise
2002-06-06 07:23:46 (UTC)

I can only do so much

Ruben: I tried to help you, I swear to God I did. I
developed a love for you that brought me closer to those
great times in one's life where judgment finally comes into
place. I thank you for sharing with me your experiences,
your laughter, your anger, your tenderness, stubbornness,
apprehension, disillusionment, reality, struggle, fears,
trust, love, & most importantly, your life. I hope you
realize, someday, that I really tried. I went to extreme
lengths to understand & cope with you & what you were going
through & felt (for which I apologize to myself at
extents). You were on the right track, my dear friend.
May you stay on the path that will ultimately benefit you.
My love & support--& know that I'll always be in the same
cities that surround you.
Vicky: Turbulent times are a must in life, which makes me
sad to know that we all NEED some kind of misfortune to
grieve & understand ourselves, if not the world, better. I
am beyond blessed to have you as some kind of elevated
relationship that we can both have relative distance, yet
enough of a firm connection to express ourselves to each
other in a way that only you & I understand. I know times
are hard, especially at our current ages, but it all gets
better. That I promise you. And also, they will then get
worse & then better again (I promise that, too). It's a
cycle. You're such a beautiful girl with so much going for
you. I beg that you don't give up & keep on going until
you're about to explode. (I know prosperity means a lot to
you.) We all have family problems; please know you're not
alone. As long as you are human, one is never alone.
Expand, Vick. Explore. My love, support, & hope, kid.
Cherry: I don't think you'll ever know the impact your
presence had on my life. In fact, I know you won't. Your
economic problems were flaming, but I've been on that road
(at some point or another) & I assure you, money is just
paper (at less points that others--which is sad). I
remember your tears roughly crawling out of your eyes, for
which many times stayed inside me & slowly accumulated, &
eventually led to your head crying on my shoulder & my head
laying on your head, crying. Physical obstacles are such a
drag, especially when they are tumors. I lament your tons
of surgeries, but I'm glad you're gifted with understanding
life & its grievances. I was glad to see that everyday you
had the courage to wake up &, even if sluggishly, drag
yourself to school. I hope I affected your being in some
way. I put myself way aside to get through & to you, & I
hope I was (at some point) of service to you. May God
watch your back.