Nick's Journal
2002-06-06 04:23:59 (UTC)

coffee and going crazy at the firm

i found a great correlation between the amt. of coffee i
drink and the amt. of fun i have at work. unfortunately i
did not also find the great correlation between the amt.
of coffe i drink to how crazy i go.
so i'm fucking shooting to all the offices asking for
work. pretty soon i feel that the 4th bay copy area always
needed a new paint job. then they send me out on my
errands. of course now i think toooooo much. this, that,
kashmir, kuwait's involvement w/ 9/11. i swear. it all
whurls through my head and i just close my ears, but the
thoughts start to scream.
all of a sudden i find myself so damn interested in one of
the co-worker's "delightful" cat stories. lionel so cute,
lionel does this, lionel does that. a.) lionel? what is
it a fucking it a cat name like "pete, or
curtis", i mean have some fucking decency.
b.) your cat played with a stuffed mouse? really? i find
that so damn interesting.
then my thoughts for a while as i go/sit at lunch.
(coming out of the firm into the street) - great a
homeless guy - "hey, not thank you i would not like a copy
of hard-times" - i come by this corner every fucking hour
does he have to ask me everythime? - holy jesus god that
lady has an ass the size of iowa......why am i still
looking?.......must turn bad car accident. -
phew. - disaster avoided. - hey is that bob saget? oh wait
no... that's just a really ugly baby. - so much ugliness. -
what if the mosquito that bit me today had aids? can that
happen? could i i dying now? what does it feel
like to die? i don't want to die. mmmmmm wendy's. - no. -
brought bag lunch. must save money for car, whoa, that guy
is fat and ugly. it's as if the fat lady and ugly baby
had sex and spawned it.....would that be possible. - must
go to bank. -
(in bank)
i hate you - dumbass - yeah i'm looking at you.....what?
yeah that's right count the deposits - can he hear me?
what if he could? - 35 yrs.? - gold member of bank of
america? - he's worked here 35 yrs. - is he fucking
insane? - hey dumbshit.....wake up!!! do something for
chrissakes even though you're 80 or whatever, retirement
has to be better than this!! - lollipop, deposits - "Thank
you, have a nice day" - dumbshit.
(out on porch)
i looooooove tuna. - god damn. - tuna. - they're smoking.
how can you smoke? what's the point? - i want one. - thank
god for my unsociability. it'll save me many a breath. -
does that guy have a camel toe? - impossible. - why the
christ am i still looking? - bad car accident - must look
away - phew. - i love tuna. - what if i died now? - damn
that the thought of death hits me a lot. - i wonder if it
does the same w/ others? - hey! little kids in school.
they're all happy and laughing, i swear, i wish i could be
like them. - guinea pig shaving itself while eating a b-
day cake........hehe - well there's the laughing part. - i
wonder if that attorney lady is a lesbian. hhhmmmm.
ewwwwwwww - bad car accident - blech. - what if that black
helicopter were an attack droid from the u.n. -
(on the way back)
no more coffee. - your mind talks too much - does the
u.s.a. today have comics? - free! press, now that's what i
like! - gimme gimme - "richmond's premier african american
newspaper" - shit. - now what? - what would be worse? -
putting it back? - or walking around with it in what may
seem a patronizing fashion. - ah, of course stuff down
pants - oh dear sweet jesus.....paper cut. - world going
dim. - inconspicuously test. - phew, missed penis by
couple of inches. - ouch. - work, work, work.
juliann, juliann, juliann.