OhBaby It Is Me

MY SO-CALLED LIFE
2002-06-06 01:57:02 (UTC)

This is something that everyone needs to know

I am the way I am truly b/c of one person don't take
me as shallow or rude or mean or anything just take it as I
am telling you right now there was one point in my life
that changed me forever and for all those people who told
me that i've changed this is why there was this one day in
study hall me and a bunch of my friends were goofing off
signing each others arms and junk well i signed brian's arm
and a few periods or days later brian's girlfriend libby
came up to me and said something along the lines of ~you
have no right touching my boyfriend~ and at that moment all
the walls that me and brians friendship had knocked over
sprung back up agian and from that day on i would
subconsicually to make everyone around me feel the same way
i did that day i know thats no excuse but thats the way it
is so now that i do that i have nothing left i've scared
everyone away now today i did the WORST thing in the world
I told a secret that i was never suppose to tell a soul and
I will regreat this for the rest of my life I am the worst
person for doing it and I deserve nothing now that i've
done it i know that i will never be anything in that
persons mind besides scum b/c that's what I am in my head I
dont deserve to even breath and i am such a horrible person
i have so much that i have to do to get myself back to that
place where i felt safe and loved right now i feel loved
but i don't feel save but getting to the point to everyone
who knows me should at least know me well enought to know
that i don't go out in life with the soul purpose of
hurting others and I know that today i've hurt one of the
people that ment the most to me and i want everyone to know
how truly sorry i am for doing what i did and i want
everyone to know that i was in an extreme amount of grief
and that shouldn't justifuy it but i want everyone to know
how sorry i am and brent kevin dan and stephanie can all
tell you how distrough i am