MLCG

Friday, June 15th

Well, some days are certainly better than others. I think
I am going to lose my mind soon, no one will give us any
type of help with the one foster son who is hearing
voices. Everyone keeps saying "Not my problem this is a
private matter!" I feel like driving him to OK and handing
him to the attorney and saying "Your problem now!". They
are not legally adopted and we do not have full parental
rights, we could take him to a psycharitrist, but if he
recommended admission, we could not do that. I need
everyone to get their act together, the hubby the kid---I
can't take much more, now I know why I have that
appointment tomorrow with the shrink. People wonder why I
am depressed? DUH!! Someone else should step into my life
for one day and take a look around at all I do and keep
together---job, house, husband, etc.

I am afraid to tell the hubby no about sex now, afraid he
will decide to go someplace else. I feel bad about not
telling him I got a continuance and did not drop the
divorce, but I just have this feeling I am going to find
out that he lied about something else or is going to go
back to his old ways. I know he is trying, but he is
leaving me feeling very neglected. He falls asleep in his
chair every night, and never calls me during the day unless
it is something he needs done. I guess maybe what he says
and what he does are not the same thing. Like last night
he wanted to have sex, but I couldn't because I feel so out
of sync with him, we haven't talked about much all week. I
really need a date with him tonight, but I am coming back
in to work a midnight, so I have to get some sleep.