Flamb

Tips To Improve U
2002-06-05 05:16:24 (UTC)

Proactive Parent

Proactivity is a positive alternatve to reactivity. It
involves the ability to prevent problems by anticipating
and accomodating needs, to deal with potential conflicts
before they actually occur, and often, to respond to
negative behaviors in a more positive (less reactive) way.

1. Write down your parenting goals. Be specific about
behaviors, principles, and long-term outcomes that are
important to you. It's easier to anticipate, plan, and
prevent problems when you know what you are trying to
achieve!


2. Involve your children in discussions of your family's
goals, values, and priorites. A family mission statement is
a wonderful tool to develop a
unified vision.

3. Review your parenting goals from time to time. Keep your
long-range goals in mind, especially when dealing with day-
to-day issues and events.

4. Think prevention! Focus on encouraging positive behavior
rather than looking at ways to punish or react to
misbehavior.

5. Anticipate what you will want in various situations.
Anticipate what your child will want in those situations.
Look at ways to accomodate both sets of needs.

6. Communicate the kind of behavior you are looking for.
Ask for what you want. Be specific and clear.

7. Respond to misbehavior less reactively. Use conflicts as
opportunites to learn new approaches or ways to prevent
further conflict.

8. Look for solutions, not blame.

9. Remember that all behaviors happen in the context of
your relationship. Keep the emphasis on the
relationship - hopefully, it will be there long after a
particular behavior is no longer an issue.

10. When baffled as to how to handle a particular
situation, step away. Confide in a trusted partner,
friend, or coach. Consider fresh perspectives as a
solution.




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