Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2001-06-15 15:19:25 (UTC)

The First Visible Results

I am SO excited! This morning when I got up, I took a
nice stretch and when my shirt rose up over my stomach, I
noticed how much flatter it is. Now of course, it isn't
all gone or anything. It's only been a week since I really
started hitting this hard. But it's a noticeable change-
to me, at least. So, I started examining the rest of my
body. My arms and legs are firmer. My back is more

I have this shirt that I haven't worn in forever, because
I always notice that you can see the outline of my bra with
just enough flab sticking out along the sides to make it
visible. But now, that outline is gone.

Also, I realized this morning that I'm not as out of
shape as I thought. I pulled Mom's old bike down from the
rafters of the garage and filled up the tires, and the ride
was so much easier for me. With the condition my bike is
in, I bet that it's stuck in the hardest possible gear, and
I haven't been able to get it to change. But it's all
good. That extra challenge really has been strengthening
my legs. I think I'll be using Mom's bike for longer rides
for endurance and mine for shorter strength training

There are just no words to explain how happy I am right
now. There's no way I could give up now. I'm enjoying
this too much. Maybe that's why I never succeeded before-
I wasn't having fun. But now, I've got a passion for
this. I love the energy I have from the exercise and from
not eating all those greasy unhealthy foods. The thought
of french fries or potato chips is disgusting to me now.
I'm not feeling like I'm giving anything up.

There's more to this than weight loss and fitness
though. This is probably the first time in a long time
that I've felt like a strong person. I'm doing something
and sticking to it. That's not something I've been in the
habit of doing over the past few years. Well, sure, I've
put in a lot of work for different things, but no more than
I had to in order to get by. Everyone telling me how
dedicated I was only made me feel worse, because I knew
that I wasn't dedicated at all. I didn't have a passion
for anything I did. But now, here I am, doing this for no
one but myself. I'm not backing down or giving up. I'm
proving to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
Really, that's the most important part of my experience.

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