Lost and Searching
2002-06-05 02:49:59 (UTC)

No One Every Told Me About the Heartbreak

Out of all my friends, i thought telling one of the closet
would be easy and nothing would be wrong....but boy how did
i know that life could throw me any more curve
balls...Jake, who became a dear friend after working my
first summer at the pool, it wasn't till the end of summer,
and after, that we kinda clicked, there wasn't a night that
I don't think we talked endlessly...and when one of us had
a problem with our significanlty others, we would always
call each other...I can remember calling him one night,
bawling my eyes out, and somehow from six hours away he
managed to fix things.....He would of never known, if he
hadn't been at the hospital, when I came out of my
breathing treatment....Damn can you talk about bad timing,
it really sucked majorally...and to boot he has some
freaking medical knowledge...So it didn't take him long
before he could put two and two together...I was
like "Jake, its not what you think, if you would just let
me explain", how could it have gone so wrong,first he
thought i had an STD, from sleeping with Heath, he started
to give me the riot act, preaching, and so on....I just
stood there and took it, not giving it to the tears, i had
cried enough over this,when he seemed to wine down, i told
him that, I was dying, and it wasn't from any damn std, and
walked away....I am not sure what I was hurt the most by,
the fact that he knew i had lost my virginity to heath(the
only guy I have slept with) or the fact that he had thought
so little of me

He was stunned, but I made it out to my truck, and pulled
away w/o looking back...I never thought he was going to act
like could he..after all we had gone
through...Jake why did you turn on me....what happened???
I didn't want to tell you what was wrong with me.......