Bloodstain Sun

The Book Of Counted Sorrows
2001-06-15 05:02:20 (UTC)

"Another Day Inside My Head..."

Today I wasn't aloud to get online at all until Dad got
home... I have a strict time-limit for being online now, it
really sucks. I'm only aloud to be on before 1:00PM and
after Dad gets home. -sigh- Went to Youth but never went
into the Youth Room. I stayed outside with Travis most of
the time, some of the time Melissa was there, I told Travis
everything that was going on with Melissa and Curt and
everything so he's kinda depressed, which got me depressed.
Came home and got online but Dave was obviously waiting for
Kelsey to call, it's really pissing me off the he expects
me to get offline just so he can talk to her EVERY day.
So anyway, I had to wait until Mom finally told Dave to get
off which was kool but then by the time I got back on
Travis left and Curt was just about ot leave.. the he left
so now I'm all alone and dep...ressed.. Travis-blockhead-
signed on as I was typing that.. still feel alone tho..
depressed and alone aren't a good combo. for me. I guess
I'll just curl up and die like the pathetic loser that I
am... even now I wonder if anyone would really miss me.
I guess someone would, both Travis', Melissa, maybe Lisi.
-shrugs- I wish someone I could talk to, preferably
Travis, was on.. It'd make things so much easier.
I just wish I didn't feel so sad and unimportant right
now.. or ever, I hate this feeling of meaninglessness.
I hold myself in a world of disdain for everything around
me. Why can't I just be happy and not worry about every
little thing in life like everyone else? I just wanna feel
some importance in my life like everyone else, everyone's
always so happy and smiling and I'm just sitting somewhere
off in my own little world asking myself this stuff that
holds no importance.. whatever... that's enough for tonight.