OhBaby It Is Me

MY SO-CALLED LIFE
2002-06-04 01:21:37 (UTC)

Kissycll: hi RobertLover411: hi..

Kissycll: hi
RobertLover411: hi
Kissycll: how are you
RobertLover411: great
RobertLover411: how about yourself
Kissycll: I'm okay
Kissycll: so you still really pissed at me?
RobertLover411: A bit, yes
Kissycll: will you ever not be?
RobertLover411: It will take a while
Kissycll: is it okay to hang out with you in the morning?
RobertLover411: It doesn't bother me at all
Kissycll: it did before
RobertLover411: Well now it's different, if you thought it
still did then why did you even ask
Kissycll: because I was hoping that you weren't mad
Kissycll: anymore
RobertLover411: Well I'm still mad, but I'm mad no matter
if your there or not, so your presents doesn't have an
impact anymore
Kissycll: so you just don't care what so ever,
RobertLover411: Oh no I care
Kissycll: how so?
RobertLover411: I'm care in the fact that I'm still upset,
if I didn't care, then I wouldn
RobertLover411: 't
RobertLover411: be mad
Kissycll: so you care, but you don't care if I am around
RobertLover411: Yes, but what that means is that having you
around isn't gong to make me more upset
Kissycll: you said that you couldn't stand the sight of me
RobertLover411: Well, I'm telling you now that I have no
problem with having you around
Kissycll: what if I were around with Brian?
RobertLover411: Then I would have to leave
Kissycll: that is mean
RobertLover411: If you can sit there and honestly tell me
that I have no right to be upset, then I take back what I
said befor and want nothing to do with you
Kissycll: I just need to talk to you, and explain
something, and just talk this out but I was upset before
this and I don't feel like crying for a second time today,
does that make any sense what so ever?
RobertLover411: And by the way, who are you to say that's
mean?
Kissycll: how would you like it if I said that you can hang
out with me but if Nick came over I would have to leave?
Kissycll: just an example
RobertLover411: No, Chrissy, I want you to cry for days
like I did, I want you to feel as miserable as I feel
Kissycll: how did I make you feel miserable?
Kissycll: why does it make you feel miserable?
Kissycll: ?
RobertLover411: Do you think that having the person whom I
literly lived for all those year introduced to my best
friend, and then have that old friend tell me that I needed
to invite him to hang out with me and my new
friend.......wait this is easier
Kissycll: huh?
RobertLover411: Brian said to me that next time you and I
hung out that I needed to call him and invite him to hang
out too, but then the next thing I know, you two are
hanging out together without me. Now honestly, how am i
suppose to feel about that?
Kissycll: I didn't know he said that to you, but Angela why
can't you be a little bit happy for me because I am happy
with him, I really like him, and I am sorry that I hurt you
by hanging out with him, and I am sorry that I didn't tell
you that I really like Brian
RobertLover411: I don't want to hear that
RobertLover411: You have no idea no thing about him and
within two days you run off together
RobertLover411: And how about him picking you up from
school, you only did that to upset me
RobertLover411: He's never even offered to pick me up from
school and I've know him for how long
Kissycll: I did not, I didn't do it to upset you, I did it
because he offered and I liked him a lot.
RobertLover411: Apparently you like him more then you like
me so you two have a wonderful time together, just leave me
out of it, you two have hurt me SO bad that you will never
be able to comprehend it
Kissycll: angela, if I didn't like you then why would I be
trying to fix this?
Kissycll: I like you
RobertLover411: Well if you liked me so much, you should
have thought of my feelings in the first place
Kissycll: you are (or were as you said in your letter) my
best friend and I miss you but why can't I be happy, why
can't I have a boyfriend and be happy? how come you can be
happy with Nick but I can't be happy with Brian?
RobertLover411: I'm not happy with Nick and Nick wasn't
your bestfriend in the entire world before I met him, NOW
don't get me wrong, Brian was my best friend before you
came along, so when I say best friend, it doesn't mean that
you weren't, it just means that I met you after I knew him
RobertLover411: And you can be as happy as you want, but
you know how much it hurts me that your happy with Brian
Kissycll: why is it wrong for me to be happy with Brian?
RobertLover411: B/c that's my Brian and I'm not willing to
give him up yet
Kissycll: when was he yours?
RobertLover411: He was in the since that I lived everyday
just to talk to him. My life back in middle school was
pure hell, it really really was, it was so bad that i even
tryed to kill myself mulitipul times, and he was the only
reason that I really lived. To talk to him was what I
lived for and now to know that he's off with the person who
was suppose to be my best friend having no time for me,
just makes me want to die, and if that's selfish, well
then, that
RobertLover411: 's too bad
Kissycll: he does have time for you, if you were so mad at
him and I.
Kissycll: *weren't
RobertLover411: Well he didn't have time for me when he was
at your house instead of mine, and he didn't have time for
me when he picked YOu up from school
RobertLover411: how much time is left
Kissycll: he came to my house on the day before you asked
him to come over, and he was going to pick you up too, but
you ran away
RobertLover411: he was over to your house when I asked him
to come over to my house and you both never even invited me
there anyways AND he never even offered to drive me home,
he's just saying that now so that he doesn't look so bad
Kissycll: no, actually he said it before we left the school
RobertLover411: And I love the entire idea that for all I
know, he's probally sitting by you right now
Kissycll: he isn't
Kissycll: he is at Lacrosse
RobertLover411: Well then you two have a pretty tight story
b/c your telling me all the same things he's telling me
Kissycll: what are you talking about?
RobertLover411: sorry that Brian's not there to tell you
Kissycll: why don't you?
RobertLover411: I already did
Kissycll: that he told you the same thing?
Kissycll: well the whole car thing would be because we were
both there
RobertLover411: you two must have talked about all this b/c
what he said to me about all this is EXACTLY what you just
said to me
Kissycll: I explained the car thing to you
RobertLover411: and the point of the whole car thing was
that he never had the intention to drive me home, it was
only after he saw I was there did he decide that
Kissycll: explain some of the things that you wrote in that
letter to me
RobertLover411: Like what
Kissycll: any of this:
Kissycll: If you think that Brian loves you, you are
strongly
mistaken, Brian can love no one but himself, and I hope
that he hurts you worse then he's hurt everyone else he
has. think about it, I've know him for a long time and
there are somethings about him that he will not tell you
and I know for my self that they are not good things. I
told you that I no matter what I would still be friends
with you but I guess I lied. If you think that I've hurt
you in the past well then take all those and add them
together, now times it by 100 and you well know how bad
you've hurt me. I have no desire to be your friend at all
anymore and I don't think I can even handle the sight of
you. You are a mean and horrible person and shouldn't be
allowed to have friends. You can have your boyfriend now,
but when things happen, unpleasent things that I know will,
then I'm not going to be here to back you up what-so-
ever.
You have no idea what your getting yourself into and I hope
you get a shit load of it. I can't tell you what to do,
but I can tell you that I was your friend, and when I was
your friend, you trusted me, well if you think you
shouldn't have trusted me all those times I think you
should trust me now. Just think, I'm not even friends
with
you and I hate Brian, but I'm still telling you the truth
and warning you of things to come. You don't want him as
your boyfriend, you don't want to hang out with him
somewhere where there is no one else around, You can be
friends all you want, he used to actually be a good friend
and an amazing listener, but do as you wish, but when
something happenes, you can't run to tell Shaun Steph or I
b/c we all think you are a horrible person and the only
reason why Stephanie even talkes to you now is b/c she's
using you. Don't bother to hang out upstairs anymore, and
don't bother to try to give rides to us, just go give
rides
to all the people who never talked to you until you got
your lisence and couldn't give a fuck about you. I at
least must give something about you, or I wouldn't even be
waisting my time typing this, oh and dance class last night
was a ball without you

Kissycll: ?
Kissycll: okay then
RobertLover411: I think there is nothing to explain
Kissycll: and yet I do
Kissycll: I have to go
Kissycll: bye
RobertLover411: Don't hang out with us tomorrow
Kissycll: I didn't plan on it
RobertLover411: Don't try to come and talk to us upstairs
Kissycll: once again, I didn't plan on it.
RobertLover411: and don't worry about sitting with shaun on
the bus, i won't put him through such torture
Kissycll: okay then
Kissycll: glad you are thinking of shaun
RobertLover411: No, i'm just hating you
RobertLover411: you can't even sit here and talk it through
Kissycll: I have to go
RobertLover411: you start it and can't even finish it
Kissycll: that is why I am not talking it through, because
I have to go
Kissycll: do you get that concept at all?
RobertLover411: It's you that doesn't understand concepts,
like the concept of friendship
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