Sweetseductionxx

The Outside of Never
2001-06-15 02:02:11 (UTC)

The Call

I am still hurt over all that has happened. But mostly
about Chakeen's Mother calling. The things she said relly
hurt me because it seems I'm being judged for a past I had
virtually no control over. She had him to take care of her
and He had her. At the age when most girls are just
starting to date I was out on my own, trying to hold down 2
jobs,to pay my rent and bills. Yet everyone see's something
different. I can't change who I am or what I've done. And I
am not sure if I would given the chance. All I do know is
that I love Chakeen with all my heart. More completely than
I have ever loved anyone other than my Children. We are not
being given a chance. I don't know what to do to fix
things. I think it may even be to late. The Verdict is in.
GUILTY! Guilty of Loving who I love without prejudice.
Maybe I am wrong. But isn't that what Love Is? All I have
learned from others..is what love isn't. I am giving this
man My life..my heart...everything that is left of me. I
will never allow him to fall or fail..even if it means
putting myself last...again. Who I am and who he is..that
is irrelevant. Million of peope Love a man they have never
seen with their own eyes. They love him off of Faith. God
is loved and no one has ever laid human eyes upon him.
Whatthen..is so wrong about me loving a man who's only
fault is his age . And what is wrong with him lovig someone
who's only fault is ....well...Loving him. God it is not
fair. But as Always..ThankYou. Thank you for gving me the
strength to be stroger than I feel or stronger than I
thought I could be. Thank you ...For showing me how to love
without restraints because You have shown time and time
again that life is too precious and too short To listen to
the Minds of others...While ignoring the Heart of Self.
Tina


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