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2001-06-14 23:01:40 (UTC)

15/06/01 - 8:55AM

So depressed, just had to write for a bit. My puddy cat is
missing, I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, tehy
are like kids to me, but he is my favorite. Minifat where
are you bubs???

And seeing as I am here, I may as well write a proper
entry. My mind is in turmoil... I don't know what to do
with myself. I sit still for 10 minutes and I want to
scream, I cannot focus on anything.

I saw someone last night I was not supposed to, which
probably explains my state of mind this morning. In
conjunction with a sleepless night on the couch waiting for
my cat to come home.

I feel like my mind is disintegrating, one little piece at
a time, I know each piece is just hiding somewhere up the
back, like a kid who hasn't done the work not wanting to be
called on. Each tiny part is scared I will try to make use
of it to sort out my life, and doesn't want the
repsonsibility for the mess I have created. Oh god that
sounds ridiculous. I do not believe in delete, I will not
delete anything from this.

I have so much work to do *sigh* another day, another
nightmare.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the
things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off
the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the
trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." - Mark Twain


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