Flamb

Tips To Improve U
2002-06-03 06:11:33 (UTC)

Things to Remember About Happiness

Almost all of us want to be happy. Being happy is not a
skill taught in school. If we are lucky, our parents taught
us about happiness, either by example or by shared wisdom.
For the rest of us, there are some important things to
remember about happiness, and the art of being happy.

1. It is OK to want to be happy.
It is not unduly selfish, or materialistic, or self-
centered. Wanting to be happy is normal.

2. To pursue happiness is an inalienable right - to be
happy is not.
Some people seem to believe that they have a right to
be happy, that other people should make them happy, that
when they are not happy they have a right to complain about
it and that complaining will cause them to be happy. All
three premises are false.

3. No one owes you happiness.
Assuming you are an adult, your happiness is not
anyone else's problem. If you are a person who spreads
happiness, then others will probably want to contribute to
your happiness. This is their choice, not your right.

4. Happiness comes from attitude, from within.
We become happy when we cultivate an attitude of
appreciation and gratitude, when we focus on the good
stuff. One way to do this is by keeping a regular gratitude
journal. This gets us in the habit of looking for what is
good in our lives, and when we focus on that we are likely
to be happy.

5. Owning more things does not make you happy.
Advertisers would like to make us believe that we can
buy happiness, but we cannot buy happiness by buying more
things. Wanting things goes back to our heritage as hunter-
gatherers. It was important to hunt, and to gather, but
that was for reasons of survival. For most of the people
reading this, our 'wants' rarely relate to our survival.

6. Happiness is more a process than it is a goal.
When I get... when I reach... when I am... we may
think that happiness is something that will come, or will
happen, one day. Eventually, we will probably find that
happiness is the journey, and that if we focus only on the
destination we will never get there.

7. Talking about unhappiness does not make you happy.
It is true that we all need to vent at times. The
purpose of venting is to express our dissatisfaction with
something so that we can move on. If we vent just to let
others know how badly used we are and how awful something
is, nothing new will happen. If we keep our mental attic
filled with unhappy stuff, there will be no room for
anything else. We need to get rid of it so as to make room
for the happy thoughts to move in.

8. Happiness is more often accompanied by accomplishments
than by compliments.
Certainly it is nice to be appreciated, and we all
need to receive encouraging words from others. But they
need to be based on fact. The empty words that are just
intended to 'raise self-esteem' ring hollow when we know
that we have truly done nothing to deserve them. It is when
we have worked and achieved that we can know that the words
ring true, and can really feel good about them and
ourselves.

9. Memories of happy times can be stored up for retrieval
during the
bad times.
Very few of us will never feel unhappy, will never
fall into 'the slough of despondence.' A major help then is
to remember the times when we were happy, and the fact that
we have those memories 'in the bank.' They are a part of
us, they can remind us that we are capable of happiness,
and that the world is not always out to make us miserable.
When you are happy, consciously store up the memories
they will serve you well.

10. Happiness comes from sharing happiness.
There are few joys as complete as those that involve
bringing joy to someone else. Happiness defies the laws of
economics in that it is not something that we have less of
when we give it away. It is something that grows greater
for the giver as it is given. The more you give, the more
you have.




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