2002-06-02 05:07:00 (UTC)

Saturday, June 1st (1155pm)

Women let men back in their lives easily. They leave a
small portion of their heart open to the "maybe" that lays
between the fate of both the woman and man of the
relationship. How pathetic is that? What does the woman
gain of it. There is only a emotional attachment we don't
know what to do with. Maybe there is some hope that he
will change. Maybe God will lay and bless him. Maybe we
should all just hold hands and pray for the male species.
It's hard to know what we want. It's hard to know what
they want. I guess that when the perfect couple meet,
nothing else matters other than the fact that
communication is actually functioning in such a way that
two people CAN remain together for more than 2 months or
even shorter. When I think about it, what the heck was it
that held Elijah and me together. What the hell was it
that I was so damn in love with him. Or was it not love?
Was it something else that I did not see at the moment?
INFATUATION! I did not know what a man really was. I did
not know what the secular world had to offer to women.
What women have to give men and what men have to give
women. I think that it is wrong that people seem to view
sexuality and relationships in a such a low level. Really,
how low can we get in life. God gave us so much more than
just this that we see.
I swear, there is thing vacant feeling inside when I don't
meet men or when I'm not with someone. It should not be
like that. I should be able to know myself and know the
value of my life and my body. There is someone out there
that will see it. But it's hard just to keep wishing and
hoping that there is actually someone out there just for
me. How long should I wait? How many times should I fail
with the horny leoperchans that don't seem to have any
brain but their lives revolving around their penises.