my pathetic life
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2002-06-01 20:39:01 (UTC)


a few days ago i was reading one of my friends dead
journals. he was writing about being an only child and how
lonely he feels. how he wishes he had someone to be close
to that could relate and knew how he felt.

reading that entry made me realize how lucky i am to have a
brother that i get a long with. its weird though, two years
ago i would tell everyone that i hated my brother. i did,
and i have hated way longer thatn i have gotten along with
him. i remember when we were really little and how much i
looked up to him and how much i wanted to be like him, i
wanted to have the same kind of friends and friendships. i
wanted to be my brother. i turned out like a tom-boy ucz of

then my brother hit the age where it wasnt cool anymore to
hang with ur lil sister. he just became extremly mean to me
and i didnt understand why at the time. it made me angry
and i didnt want to be around him. then he got into middle
school and it just got worse. this big brother that i had
always looked up to kept on getting meaner and meaner, and
his head kept on going farther up his ass. we got into so
many fight its was really bad. i still have scars from some
of the fights we got in.

then we moved. it was hard on both of us and for the past
year had grown up a lot and our relationship had gotten a
hell of a lot better. now we're really close and it makes
me feel really great that i can come to him with anything
if i needed to. he has a girlfirend and he gets all ass
holeish when hes around her sometimes. so our relationship
isnt perfect but still very good. i wouldnt chage the times
ive had with my brother good and bad for anything.

"The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered. I walk
these lines of blasphemy everyday"

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