Toots

Mean Mr. Mustard
2002-06-01 17:08:29 (UTC)

so.. I woke up 2 hours ago, and already thIs day is FUCKED UP!

This kid I know was in an accident last night. Well, I knew
him. He's dead now. I wasn't like close to him, I don't
even think we ever had an actual conversation. But he
graduated from highschool with my brother, a year behind
me. He and this other kid I know were driving to the gong
show at school, and were broadsided by some woman who
didn't stop at her stop sign. I guess she flipped their
car, and Brian and Brendan were flown to Strong Memorial
hospital in Rochester. Brian died this morning and Brendan
is in ICU.

So. Honestly, this has really messed with my head. I mean,
if I were to tell the truth, I probably would never even
have noticed if I never saw either one of these 2 kids
again in my life. We weren't close, we barely even knew
each other. But when I heard teh news, I had a panic
attack. A serious one. I haven't had a serious panic attack
in a long time. All I could think was that he couldn't
really be dead, I just saw him the other day when I drove
past his house. He was coming in from the lake. I guess
he'd been swimming. He can't be dead, he was younger than
me. He had a whole life in front of him.

I don't know what to think. But I feel very hypocritical
just by being as fucked up about it all as I am.

I feel bad for my brother. He was alot closer to these guys
than I was. The look on his face made me cry earlier. All
he could say: "Life is fucked up, Meg." And now he's
outside just standing and staring. He'll be ok, though.
He's got this strength that is unbelievable. He just needs
time to soak it in and adjust to it.

Anyway. I'm gonna go now.




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