Alexander Dickson

Silent Hill: Town of Unforgetable Memori
2002-06-01 05:51:08 (UTC)

Diary, fiction, it all seems the same

I received a message from Christine saying that she was
going to the cinema about 10.30pm and was wondering if I
wanted to come along. If not for the fact I was sure to
see a movie, I would have outright refused. It seems that
although I miss the people when they're not around, I
can't be bothered with them when they are. Its a regular
conflict of interests I guess. Even in my circle of
friends (although its more of a square these days) I enjoy
a one to one conversation. Maybe its being in a small
moving box, essentially, trapped with two or three people
for an extended amount of time that gets me so wound up.
I'm not claustraphobic (sp?) or anything but the concept
of being sealed in a small area doesn't make me feel all
happy inside, not that anything does that these days. Or
ever did. Oh the angst, its inspired me to write some
poetry or some piece of literature about my feelings, no
doubt helped by Ruth and her exceptionally brilliant
literary skills (http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?
userid=205543 for some samples of her work).

Speaking of Ruth, I was delighted when Christine came for
me. Ruth was there. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't
some repressed love or lust for her. I'm certain in my
homosexuality and although I don't go "out" any, I know
whats inside, well in this aspect anyway. It's probably because we
like a lot of the same stuff. Sure I have interests of similar
poperties with the rest of the scoobies but not as much as Ruth.
This really does sound like an oh-so UNsecret love letter. Well its
not. I don't "love" anything. I find it hard enough to like people,
let alone trust them enough to consider loving them. Teen angst, how
I hate it. Anyway on with the story.

We went to see Not Another Teen Movie. I found it ver amusing even
though I downloaded ages ago. The others seemed amused although
Christine was adamant at the start that she wouldn't like it. Ruth
came back to my house and we watched the last four episodes of Buffy
series 6 and an episode of Angel. I'd watched tem a few times before
but I didn't mind watching them again. She left about 6am, handy
since father does go on whenever he comes home from night shift and
a girl's over. We can't all be as big a slut as you father.

I've finally started some work on my website, and I'm going to spend
at least 30 minutes a day doing things that require physical
exercise each day. It may be a step in increasing my self esteem and
sense of purpose. I'll probably give up soon but I'l try my best.