Amy

Pure Belligerence
Ad 2:
2001-06-14 00:57:07 (UTC)

*I guess this is growing up*

i didnt do much today.... after school my mom gave renee a
ride home because her dad forgot her.... and then we were
passing an old parking lot and my mom asked me if i wanted
to practice driving.... i did but not with her.... i dont
know i cant explain it. Its the same way i feel when she
used to try to buy me bras or ever mention my period....
just like i dont want to feel close to her and maybe that
could happen if i do or talk about personal things? Or
maybe it has to do with growing up. Like, maybe i dont
want my mom to see me grow up or deep down inside i dont
want to grow up. Iv been so excited about driving but this
came as a real surprise to me. And i was thinking, if
alicia was in the car or any one of my friends, i would
have been glad to drive. I am so confusing! It makes me
wonder what deep seeded emotional issues i have deep down
inside and if this has anything to do with why i dont have
many memories from my childhood. I remember when i was
about 8 and first started going to the psychologist, she
said to me.... blah blah blah something about my dad and
having problems with my moms side of the family and
fighting and what not (i had no idea what she was talking
about, at that time they have been divorced for quite a few
years and as far as i know my dad hadnt talked to anyone on
my moms side since then). So maybe this has something to
do with it all or maybe it doesnt.... the world may never
know.


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