Confusedchika

Confused
2002-05-30 05:15:26 (UTC)

I need a Hug

Damn it man i need a hug. Guys suck ass. I mean Come one
Matthew thinks he's the shit becuase some girl at my school
thinkgs that he's cute and blah blah blah. She got his Sn
off of my E-mail that I sent a friend of mine. Ever since
she started talking to him Hes been totally bitchy to me.
Why are guys such dicks? i mean comeone I liked him for
him. He may not be the hottest guy int he world, but I
thought he was nice and sweet, but Alas I am wrong. I jsut
feel like punching a freakin wall. Damn Im pissed. I went
swimming Today and Tavo and I were having a splashing
contest (hes my Cuz's BF) ANd he punched me in the jaw.It
was an accident, But I told Matthew and he thought that the
dfact that I got socked inthe jaw was funny. That hurt more
than The actual sock in the jaw. Now i just feel all pissed
off. I dont like feeling pissed off. Espically wehn I like
someone. But you know what fuck him. He was just wrong. I
can feel the hurt welling deep inside of me. He has to
tell my cusion what he is thinking about me. I mean he
can't even say it to me. *sigh. Maybe im just ment to be
by myself. Everytime I like someone they act all nice and
sweet. thent hey become complete and total asses twards me.
i need a hug. I want a hug. No ones a away and theres no
one that I can talk to about this. It hurts like a bitch.
It feels like someone Pushed me down and started doing the
mexican Hatdance on me. It hurts it hurt it hurts! Sigh. Am
i ment to be alone forever? It seems that way. No guys like
me. They all like Heather or shawana or jen or michelle or
manda. None of them like me. All alone. I can feeel the pit
in my stomach growing bigger and bigger. Its engulfing me.
I dontwant it to but it is. it needs to stop. Why is it
doing this to me Im just wrtitting anything that comes
into my brian. Can you tell? I hate guys. All of the ones
I meet are all jerks. I need a hug. U feel like crying but
im not gonna. No guy is worth my tears when their going to
be asses. i've only cryed once over a guy and he definatly
wasn't worth it.. Matthew might be worth the tears that are
in me, but I'm not gonna shed them. Not for him and not for
anyone at this point in my life. I know I sound bitter, but
right now I am. It sucks to feel this way. i need a hug. i
want a hug. Look im repeting myself. See this is how mad
and sad I am. I have a dance on friday. Im going iwth my
cuz. Oh well I beter get goin. Ita almost 10:30. Ill let my
rage build up more and write in my paper journal while im
at school.
~Confused 4 life




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