through the looking glass
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2002-05-30 03:49:12 (UTC)

Back from mi casa with report and other goodies!!!

Well being home was great I love my mommy and my
grandparents ect..... I saw my Bestest friend Bri bri and
heard that his Baby finaly got to walk last night THAT
ROCKS Im so excited for him Garret is the coolest little
baby in the entire world!!!! Ok So Im a little biased and
hes not exactly a baby anymore but you know what I mean..
Anyway so Yea I get back and Kozak is being presistant Its
nice to hear that someone actualy might be interested in me
you know even if his situation is a little on the abnormal
side Eric says I should be leary of him but HELLO Kozack
hasnt tried Killing me in the last week so I dont think
eric is the best judge of character at all nor do I think I
should listen to him as much as use to which still hurts
Sure I could go on pretending that Im not still in love
with eric but what would be the point I already have missed
any chance at the old life I had before him anyway I use to
be christian I use to not just have faith but actualy put
that faith into action I use to be a missionary I would
realy Love to be able to do that again. God use to be so
alive so real to me I hope it can be that way again someday
I dont know when YOu never know. I was looking at my bible
I recieved as A Rainbow Worthy Advisor the other day Alot
reminded me of who I am I miss opening my bible to the
ninth chapter of genesis every night and knowing GOd was
watching over me I know that God is real I just hope its
not to late to go back to him! Home was awsome Being in my
real element Living in a small town and seeing the faces
you grew up with and that love you like their own family
even if they wont admit to it. Getting to see a friend
thats now in new york can make all the difference he
reminded me of alot Now everything is soo uncertain. The
thing is If my heart wasnt dead I know the person I would
love I think I know anyway. But Its nice to feel wanted And
I dont know if I could deny that at all I mean that was
also the reason I got involved with eric though and we all
see how that turned out
sigh I wish I could just turn back time to when Life was
simpler and The Heberleins could help me solve my problems
with a smile and a prayer. Well most of my problems...
Life is to complicated here Remind me again why I would
want to move farther into HELL I dont know anyway Thats my
rant for today God bless you all and if your Christian Pray
for me ok Luv you all to peceses
Lisa M Fuqua

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