Christine

Visions Of Life
2002-05-30 03:26:50 (UTC)

Nothing

5-26-02
3pm

I have nothing left to give. My smile is artificial. My
laugh, a lie. I am numb to all except darkness. Walls
closing in. Nothing I try works. No one believes in me
anymore. Hell, no one even believes me. Even when I speak
truth. Ive lost so much and no one cares. So many dreams
haunt me at night. Happiness dances by. What I want is only
an illusion. I want what I cant have and its killing me.
Every day i close my eyes and am taunted by images of my
future. Our future. And yet in reality i know what i see
wont happen because its not what he wants. Why do i torment
myself by thinking of things that cant happen? I cant tell
anyone what i want, what i feel, so i pretend to not want
it and die a little each day, living my life but wanting
more.