gillian

AfterTheLaughter
2002-05-29 03:52:34 (UTC)

free bird

HE'S GONE!!!!!
i'm free. i can't beleive this. i'm free. he's moved out.
he's out of my life. i'm free. i never thought i'd live to
see this day. this is insane!!! i'm insane!! hahaha.
hysterical is more like it i'd say. i think i'm going to
throw up i'm so happy. the rest of my life begins tonight.
i don't want to waste it like i've done previously. oh my
god...i still can't beleive this. i dont know if i ever
will. i feel like running outside and grabbing some passer
by and shaking them and screaming at them. but there's no
one out. it's 10:48 pm in suburbia. everyone's asleep.
today i went to mcdonalds with my sister and her friend. i
had ice cream. HA!! can you imagin. me! i ate!! haha i ate.
i really ate.

but i can't concentrate. i'm so jittery. i'm shaking. i'm
crying. all because he's gone! my brother is gone! i'm so
happy. you have no idea...all the pain he's caused...it's
over now. it's truely really over. someone pinch me. some
one please don't let this be another one of my twisted
dreams.
i forgot how it felt to cry. it feels so good. happy
tears...euphoric tears!! imagine...me! crying happy tears!!
i didn't even do that when jay proposed to me last year. i
don't know if i've ever cried happy tears.....oh man.
everything's spinning. i'm going to throw up i swear. im
gunna faint. some one catch me.


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