sunluv88

The Sunshine Chronicles
2002-05-29 01:20:06 (UTC)

first of my exams

first day of final exams today. i was cruising through the
english when suddenly i came accross a question about
pride and the next was about lying/equivocation in
Macbeth. i was not in a very happy mood today, and seeing
this made me think about nothing other than maudie and how
much i had fucked up with her. there was a lot of pain for
me. i got so distressed that, as is the case in such
situations, that my medication got checked. it was
ineffective until i calmed down, and for me part of the
problem i have with Tourette is doing just that. i
couldn't answer anything after that. i couldn't even do
the vocab. afterwards i left the gym and started to cry.
pooja saw how upset i was, and we went off to talk for a
while. it really helped. i didn't realize until late this
year how much she cared, but i'm glad i know now. that
sort of stubborn-not-giving-up-on-you friendship is just
what i need. anyways she let me talk to her about my
Tourette and how i feel like it makes me a problem for
everyone who knows me. she told me that i had friends who
cared about me :) becca (she's in my youth group) told me
the same thing last night in an e-mail. "Just remember
that your friends love you and that no matter what i'm
doing i am always thinking of my sunshine." it meant a
lot to me. after the hellish biology exam, i talked to kat
for a while about my concerns in life. the main one would
pertain to a certain girl. no, not maudie my ex. this is a
girl i've known for more than a year (not saying how long,
cuz then it's a bit more obvious to those who know me!).
kat isn't one to ever give advice about relationships, but
she listens. for someone like me, it helps to know a
friend is willing to listen. she's a great girl. but yeah
so after the exams and my talk with kat i went for a
massage. i've found that it helps a great deal with my
physical ticks. the stress fracture in my spine feels so
much better now. so yeah that's pretty much where today
is: a lot of stress during an emotional time, and it all
went away with friends and a massage. i think tonight i'll
sleep much better than usual.




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