Mist

This mess of mine.
2001-06-12 10:26:20 (UTC)

at kevkevs moms

it is the day after the last entry
we broke up last night
i found a letter
and went mad

i ran outside and threw myself infront of a car
then i got really mad and ran back inside cause it didnt
work

kevkev was upstairs on the phone
i went into our room and slashed myself
then ran upstairs and pulled out the phone and threw it at
the wall screaming and ran back downstairs to cut more


he came downstairs plugged phone back in and rang back
i think it was chris

i screamed more and he told me to go away - hed be with me
in a sec
so i cut more

and he ran in and tried to get the blades off me

it was a really bad hour

involving kevkev hitting me to try and control me and him
trying to get all the dangerous things out of the room

then he got wade to call kris
and she came over

and when kevkev went to talk with her i swollowed all the
pills he left in the room - which wasnt many...

then they found me

and called the ambulance
and i started yelling

and they came and i got really scared
and yelled more

and found kevkev outside
and hugged him and told him to make them go away
but he told them the truth
and they took us away
to the logan hospital

and we were there for hours
and i was so sik

and vomiting

and kevkev was there by my side
and kissing me
and holding my hand
and telling all the dr's he is my b/f

so i asked him why he was lying
and was ignored
and he was holding my hand the whole time
even wen we got back here

and he tucked me into bed
and stayed up all the rest of the night watching me and on
the net

then wen everyone got up he was still all sweet
and huggy

and then he went to sleep hugging me
and i got up heaps earlier than him

and now he is awake
and ignoring me
and i feel like i am being avoided


i talked to wade and marie
they seem ok

considering

i told kc
i told ward

they rang my mom
and dad
and the salon
but cant find deb
or grandma


and they want to send me away for awhile
but cant find anywhere to send me
i feel so bad

i want to hug kevkev

i want to talk to him

i want to tell him i love him
but i cant cause i wont get it back

i feel sick

bi




Ad: