2002-05-27 07:22:21 (UTC)

things are not so bad

thigns really aren't so bad. I think it might be because I
went through shit like this before, so now even though this
stuff is actually a lot worse, it doesn't bother me too
terribly much. His friend came up to me the other day and
was quite pissed off with him as well for how he treated me
and shared some information about him and things he was
doing etc before he broke up with me that really kind of
pissed me off. I also found out that he lied to me about
something that superficially would sound very trivial but I
think there's something more behind it. When he told me
that he'd been doing drugs behind my back for quite a while
he said he was doing it with this friend of his that he had
told me before was into drugs. But I found out from this
person who was talking to me that the guy Dan was talking
about quit drugs... so why would he lie? I THINK it's cuz
he's been spending a lot more time that i was aware of with
that whore friend of his who obviously likes him and hated
me cuz I was going out with him and he always claimed that
he didn't think she liked him... So now i 'm thinking that
chances are pretty damn good that he was in fact cheating
on me on top of the lying and manipulating... which really
is just the icing on the cake and i'm not terribly upset
about it cuz there's nothing i can do to change it. he
knows that she's a whore who's already been pregnant once
even though she just graduated from high school this last
month... he's just an ass. And I don't want him back at
all. I'm just happy that he is fucking gone. If i do find
out he cheated on me though, I will get even... :)

Today I went out cruising with my sister and her friend
(it's sort of a sunday night kind of tradition thing here)
and it was actually quite fun. we leered at some boys in
nice cars. got leered at by some boys. then we went home. i
also went and got ice cream with my friend and that was
pretty fun. it's nice to spend some time outside now that
the weather is finally getting warmer. We went to BDI and
it was really really good ice cream... I don't know why
theirs is just so much better than everyone else's. I
bought myself some new things yesterday and that made me
kinda happy about myself so that was pretty cool. Plus
dan's cute friend was talking to me at the bar last night
and that cheered me up. He's quite handsome. His friends
all seem quite concerned for me. I've had 3 of them in the
past 4 days come up and ask "how are you doing? are you
ok?" which in a way is kind of wierd but i appreciate it
too. They're nice people, i don't know why they hang out
with dan. It's kind of wierd too i guess that they seem a
lot more concerned about my well being than Dan ever was,
even though he dated me for like 3 months and they've only
seen me on and off during that time. I guess that they just
saw how he was when i wasn't around and heard what he was
saying about me (and possibly saw him whoring around with
that ugly bitch) and feel bad cuz they know i didn't know.
Ugh. Well I guess i'll just have to wait and see what
develops on that front. I sorta have the feeling that this
isn't over yet. Something big (and most likely bad) still
feels like it's coming.