This is me and how my life goes.
2001-06-12 06:08:51 (UTC)


Dear Journal,
I know I wrote already today but i've been so behind in
writing in you so now i'm going to be like writing in you
maybe a couple of times a day. I'm so tired right now, Josh
is about to come over and hang out though so i'm going to
stay awake for him. I just want to pass out. I was up really
late last night and it's hiting me now. Sometimes I'm doing
all right and I wonder if i've finally forgotten about
David. Sometimes i'm doing so bad and I wonder if i'll ever
forget David. Somedays I love myself so much I wonder why I
even bother trying to impress people. Somedays I hate myself
so much I can barely look in the mirror. Sometimes I'm so
happy I wonder if anything could upset me and make my day
horrible terribly wrong. Sometimes I'm so sad I wonder if
anything or anyone can pull me out of this depression.
Somedays my glass is half full and my sky is bright blue.
Somedays my glass is half empty and sky is dark gray.
Sometimes i'm almost ready to forgive myself, almost ready
to say it's not my fault. Sometimes I beat myself up over
and over again asking myself how i could be so stupid.
Sometimes I wonder if i'll have ever have children and I
wonder if i'll make mistakes with them. Sometimes I don't
want children because I fear all of the mistakes I will
make. Somedays my mother is my bestfriend and I wonder if I
can finally tell her everything. Somedays she is my worst
enmy and I wonder if she will leave me alone.
Somdays I wonder if i'll be able to get out of bed
somedays I wonder if i'll be able to make it
Somedays I know I'll be able to get out of bed
Somedays I know I'll be able to make it

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