reznor

New...

I haven't been online in a long time...SHIT I get too many
porno mail...

My life with MiKeY has been ok. We have our ups and downs.
Lately we've been spending lots of time together...My mom
feels like she's adopted another kid. That kinda bothers me
because I feel like my mom thinks she's chilling out money
for another person that she doesn't have to and SHOULDN'T
HAVE TO! Why do I pick the losers with no jobs? He does try
to do everything for me but I do kinda feel like is free-
loading..hehehe. I love him so much and he loves me but I
don't think he loves me the way I love him....I don't
really think he's looking for a future with me and I really
know that he doesn't care for my well-being. Recently I got
my period TWICE in one month and he didn't care much about
it. I don't think I'm pregnant but this incident caused me
to tell my mom about my sexual incounters WHICH BROKE HER
HEART. SHIT I feel like the bad child! WELL.. she took me
to the doctor and they say it's normal but I gained some
weight over the past couple of months (due to the munchies
I get after smoking but my mom doesn't know that shh!) sooo
they want to give me a pregnancy test...I had my period so
they couldn't give it to me on the spot so I have to go in
another time for one. PLus my mom wants me to be on birth
control pills to be on the SAFE side. That's all I need, A
FUCKING KID! I feel really bad about the whole thing and I
should have told my mom earlier but I didn't because I'm a
pussy!

My social life has been weird...Ever since MiKeY got his
car, we've been hanging out with all sorts of people...I
hate it. I just want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I
hate people...I especially hate FAKE people. They make me
angry. I'm so glad I only have 3 more weeks of high
school...THANK GOD!

Prom is soon and I hope that goes well...

YOU CAN KILL YOURSELF NOW BECAUSE YOUR DEAD IN MY MIND!

=Grace=