the random confessions of a teenager
2002-05-26 18:42:19 (UTC)


"Apathy, please don't call me up anymore
Cuz im tired of being chained
Lying on a cement floor
And I am reminded by these scars of regret inflicting me
I could never see that this "me" in me is just not me
I could never tell that this "me" just isn't me.
And now the curtains opened and that "me" in me isn't me."

Yeah.....*sighs*.....I dunno, I'm just so apathetic lately,
I've given up caring about anything and everything. I feel
so conflicted between things that shoudln't even bother or
conflict me. All I wanna do is just curl up under my
blankets and blast Trish Murphy "Outside" and some other

I feel just like Ed Norton's character in Fight Club before
he started going to all those self-help groups. I could be
Marla Singer.

And it's not like I'm depressed. I mean, I know I'm not.
I've just...stopped caring.

"what's the difference of never knowing at all when every
step i take is always too small. maybe it's something i
just can't admit, but lately, i feel like i don't give a
shit. motivation such an aggravation. accusations, don't
know how to take them. inspiration's getting hard to break
it. concentration, never hard to break it...i don't care,
so why should i even pretend?"

i think something's wrong with my wrist. part of it is,
like, popping out of my skin. like a long, thin, not-itch
not red mosquito bite, ya know? damn, it fucking burns.

whatever. i'm out.