ilove2twirl

my own soap opera
2002-05-26 04:17:18 (UTC)

May 25th, 2002

Well lots of things have happened since the last time I
wrote here. I've had my heart broken by both a friend and a
guy and have almost gone crazy. I went out with this Landon
guy that I met at my friends party. Things were all fine
and good till i started to get to know him. Then I started
seeing things that I really disliked and I guess we drifted
a little bit. Then I saw him hanging out more with jane.
He's flirt with her even when I was there. This really
upset me and I saw him even less. Though I thought I was
upset because I still liked him but later I realized I was
just being hurt by Jane. But things were worse than I had
thought. As things kept getting worse we broke up and it
was all fine untill Trevor told me about all the things he
actaully did with Jane. He saw her behind my back hiding
it, he "counted" the pumpkins on her shirt and other stuff
and this really tore me apart that Jane would let him do
this when I was still going out with him. I thought she was
a good friend. The number one rule of friendship is not to
go with your friends boyfriends especially when they are
still dating them. I cried for days after this and told
Jane how upset I was with her. I don't think she got the
hint and she never said she was sorry until much later. It
wasn't until she broke up with landon herself that she said
she was sorry and looked like she meant it somewhat. She's
glad it happened because she thinks that its made our
friendship grow stronger case we lasted through that but she
is wrong there. Our friendship is still healing and she 's
lost a lot of her inner beauty to me. At least things are
somewhat better and I'm mostly over it. It doens't really
hurt me at all anymore.
Well onto the next thing...The two guys who were in my first
blog. Well they called me a while back and started talking
with me. We hung out a few times and Mike was totally
hitting on me. At first i was like i was b4.. no a chance.
But then i started to really fall for him. We just started
to hang out more and just started cuddling and such. WE
never really officially decided that we were going out or
anything. There was something special about him. He now
smoked pot and stuff which i hated but i still saw the
greatness in him. And he tried quitting just for me.
Before i knew it I was in love with him. Deep word i know
but for once i could say it and mean it but i never told him
cause i didn't realize i was in love...until he left me.
Over the 3 weeks of musical i didn't have much time to see
him at all and so i guess he thought i was no really
interested. I started noticing him drift and became really
upset. I tried to work things out but he wasn't willing o
make itme anymore. When someone told me he was seeing other
people and when he told me htings wouldn't work out i was
heartbroken. I next to never cry in front of people but the
second i knew i was in tears and every time i was remined i
was in tears again. I wasn't very strong about it and now
two months later I still cry at night sometimes. I've tried
to get over him and look at other guys but no other guy i
cna ever picture going out with. I thought me and Mike were
meant to be and i still do. I still have hopes of getting
back together with him but supposilvely he has another girl
that likes him that he likes back. Lately he hasn't been
online at all and its starting to scare me a little cause
i'm worried something might be wrong but its' most likely
just that his computer crashed or something but i still
worry.




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