melpomene

red
2002-05-26 03:30:52 (UTC)

wheels

I was ran over by a UPS truck when i was five. It was
completely my fault. I had gotten a big wheel for my
birthday, but we had to take it back to the store. No pink
pompoms for me. I needed the blue and silver big wheel,
complete with silver unicorn on the side. I couldn't look
like a girl you see, because i was big and tough and
daring. But most important of all, i was invinsible. The
block next to mine had a huge hill. I had to peddle as fast
as i could down my block and across the street in order to
get half way up the hill, release my feet from the peddles
and roll backwards down the hill. I loved the adrenaline.
Of course my mother (who, like all mothers, is always
right), forbade me from going across the street without
stopping at the corner for safety reasons. Unfortunately
her strong belief in the motto "stop, look and listen" did
not rub off on me, and as fates would have it, I ended up
underneath a packaging truck. I was fortunately I was not
badly hurt. My mother did one of those
gripmesotight/crying/screamingbecauseidisobeyed/iloveyou
andthatyou'reok's and my five year old mind was determined
to not scare her like that again. From that day to this my
fearlessness had dwindled. I am creative and spontaneous,
but not invinsible. I somehow displaced this early
experience not on a need for safety, but rather on the fear
of wheels and UPS trucks. I used to have panic attacks when
i saw the big brown trucks. and as for bikes, I did not get
back on one again until seventh grade, and it was on a
grassy field (where it is hard to learn how to ride a bike)
and I got off within 15 minutes and haven't gotten back on
again. The year my mom convinced me to have my party at the
roller rink i watched my friends. I faked a hurt ankle.

With this background information provided, I believe that
it should be known, that today, some 14 years later, I
purchased a pair of rollerblades and I tried it, and I had
fun. fun. Isn't that amazing? It was an incredible
feeling, to have the wind whipping through my hair. after
about ten minutes I left my roomate in my wake and i was
flying. I was realeased. I could hardly breath when i
rolled to a stop, and every fiber in my body was alive.
alive. and free of my fear. It was time for me to stop
living in intimidation. I am wonderfully reckless again.
and so content. you see, with that invinsibility lost, the
years after five where very bleak.




Ad: