Reality Bites
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2002-05-25 20:22:06 (UTC)

Sweet Home Alabama

Ok, 'Sweet Home Alabama' just came on the radio, and it's
like 80 degrees here and I'm drinking an icetea and just's pretty much a perfect moment.

I'm really glad there's like 12 days til finals, because
school is so incredibly old at this point, ya know? I don't
all together hate it but I'm so sick of it and I'm so done
with academics and that's the part that's killing me. I
have a 2.9 which is a drop from the 3.2 I had last
quarter...might not seem like much of a drop, but it is. Oh
well, if I can make it another 3 weeks I'll be done and
ready to enjoy the best time of the year...SUMMER!!!!

Summer makes me really happy in the kind of way Christmas
makes people happy, the only difference is that Christmas
lasts for a day and summer lasts for 3 months. This year
I'm going to Hawaii and Mia's coming which will be so
incredibly fun! I'm also going to LA, and to cheer camp
too. The rest of the time I fully plan on spending hanging
out shopping and going wherever...all thanks to a new thing
for me, A LICENCE AND CAR. Hopefully those will be in my
possestion in the matter of a month.

So things have been progressing with Luke...I guess
'progressing' is an appropriate term to use although I hate
to cause I used that with Jesse too and so, well you know
then why I'm a little reluctant. We got our yearbooks
yesterday and Jesse wrote in mine 'Have a nice summer-Jesse'
I was pissed...only because I invested so much emotional
time into him, he claims he 'loved' me, and he gives me
that load of shit in my yearbook? Oh god, at the same time
it reminds me exactly why it is we're not together in the
first place.

Luke is 'really not a phone person' by his own definition
yet he calls me everyday which is cool. He always reminds
me that I never call him, but there are a few reasons, I'm
not un-interested. I don't call him cause I don't ever know
when he's in the mood to talk or not and when he's not in
the mood to talk TRUST ME he's not. Also, his last
girlfriend who he like JUST broke up with last week used to
call him a ton of times a day and was very needy and I
don't want to be that for him, especially not right now. I
don't exactly know what I'm doing which is good because in
the past I've followed the set 'this is how you get a guy
and this is how u act' and whatnot and that's ended up
negitively. My motto with this is just to go with it and
see what happens. Right now I can't get hurt again and I
know that its up to me to protect myself, I can't put it in
his hands whether I get hurt or not. Whether he likes me or
not, and wants to bring this up a level or not I'm not
getting hurt. Period. The end. I can't do it again, not
right now. I don't know how I'm gonna pull this off but
I'll figure something out. We'll see I guess. This summer
will be a test, if he keeps calling and we get together I
guess that'll be the ultimate test of if this is going
anywhere or not. I better go to the gym so I dont escalate
my stress anymore by gaining