Alice Sycamore

my stars
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2002-05-25 05:10:35 (UTC)

Just one of those feelings again...

Where everything around me just feels like it is slowed
down. I guess it cause I'm "thinking"... just about life
and such, but whatever. I think it maybe just me feeling a
bit alone, cause it seems whenever I tend to think more
about guys (if I'm more serious about liking one) I tend to
feel more lonely. I'm just really weird I guess.
Well since I'm sure you were wondering, yes, I have been
thinking about a certain guy a lot. He's in one of my
classes, and I can't help but think about him at least once
a day. He's pretty much a big dork in class, but around
other guys, what guy isn't? Anyway, being the weirdo, I put
thoughts into my own head, like "I wonder if he's going
through the same thing as me... catching quick glances
across a room or the schoolyard...I wonder if we're caught
in the same circle but we both just don't talk to each other
enough to pick our way out of it..." stuff like that.
Anyway, its weird. I glanced in his direction today during
my performance (my friend Evan and I did the Time
Warp....AGAIN!!! haha) and that one time I checked to see if
he was watching and he was looking at something at the floor
for a second! UGH! But I (my little wandering brain) thought
that he was lookin over at me before the show, but I don't
really think so, well unless I'm right about the whole
glance/circle/maybe thing... BUUUT the pessimistic side of
me says no, so that's that. He's close to a good friend of
mine, but it would take me quite awhile to mention anything
at all to them, just cause that might be weird. So I don't
really know what to do... any suggestions? Haha I'm overall
a pretty complicated girl.. but what matters is that I'm
cool with who I am, cause I love me. So maybe I'm not that
comp


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