the life of me
2002-05-24 22:16:33 (UTC)

May 24, 2002

why does life suddenly seem to be going so fast? why do i
feel as if my friends are moving forward, but i'm still
standing in the same place. it's funny, just waiting for
nothing to happen. summer's coming. that means no school. i
guess i'm happy, but i'll miss everyone so much. russy
really made me feel good the other day when he said, "aww,
lyns, you're leaving soon... what'll i do without you? i'll
miss you so much!" i know that's just something you say,
but it made me feel like he still cares. he has a way of
reminding me that he cares when i need it the most. maybe
that's why i love him. i don't really understand life
anymore. my old friends are not as important as they once
were. i've escaped the drama and found refuge in the
company of my new found best friends. after choir tour,
lauryn, liss and i just clicked so well. i feel like for
the first time someone really cares, and doesn't just say
they do. so i've been spending all my time with them. we're
so close now, we call ourselves sisters. it's great because
i've gotten closer to all these people i always thought
would be fun to get to know. and they so are. drew (aka
boo) is one of my favorites in the "asian clique." he's
hilarious. i can see why lauryn likes him so much. Lani,
Maya, Rona, Pam... all INSANE to the max! it's fun though.
i love them SO much. and i feel good cuz they accept me,
and it's hard to fit in with a group of people who've known
each other since kindergarten, which most of them have.
they really make me feel welcome too. i talked to deanne
for the first time one on one this week. she's so cute. i
really wish we'd gotten to know each other in another
situation. i just have this feeling in my stomach whenever
i talk to her... i look for things that are better in her
than are in me. it's frusterating! i hate myself for doing
it, but i just can't help it. "sometimes laughing with
someone when they're happy means as much as crying with
them when they're sad." i came up with that quote today...
all by myself. aren't you proud of me. there's another one
too... "Tis a strange thing to fall in love. like having
the will to fly, but not the skill." cool eh?!? yea, i was
pretty proud of myself. :) well... i'd better go now. i'll
talk to you later. much love my diary friend. :)
p.s. today were the awards for track and field... i got a
gold and a silver (gold for the medley relay and silver for
the free style relay). YAY! sophomores won overall