silent thoughts........
2002-05-24 09:03:28 (UTC)

Life`s a .........

Its that time again,things have been good lately,our lives
seem to have takin a turn and its about time!!Im glad it
has its for the best i think ,G`s away workin now and has
been for bout a month, its good at least hes gettin hes
debts payed off then we can concentrate on our house hold
ones.Im sooo proud of him though to be honest i didnt think
he would last this long,and he has ....sure proved me
wrong..Its sorta hard though him not being here ,it bugs
the kids i think ,not that they say so though they no why
hes gone away .My bloody washing machine has broken down
and ive been washing by hand ,cant wait till we can afford
a new one.G`s sendning me money,more than usual too ,so im
takin the kids out out and do sumthin exciting on the
weekend instead of being stuck home ,ive been livin on
stuff all lately and havnt been able to do anyhting with
them,I feel that the kids have missed out on sumthings and
feel guilty at times,but i no i shoulnt really cause im
doing my best.Im feelin pretty lonely at the moment
considering that G`s my only true friend,i try not to
whinge at him and tell him that things are cool ,when
really there not ,but i dont want him to use it as an
excuse to come home ,hes lasted a month why ruin it for
him.David`s attitude is what the problem is,i cant handle
it ,hes just so rude to me and to others all the time and
when i tell G i really dont think that he truely believes
what hes like .He talks to me like a piece of shit and
expects everything and chucks a wobby when he dont get
it,screams and kicks things,im amazed that there isnt any
holes in the doors or walls,davids attitude is that he dont
care.I dont know what it is i can do anymore ,ive tried
being nice about it ,ive tried smacking,putting to bed and
thats useless since he will just sit there and scream and
kick,yell abuse at me .Bedtime is bad its the same every
night ,the whinging bout going even though i have let them
stay up already but it aint good enough like anything i do!
Maybe im just too weak to handle it ,i just dont no
anymore,have even considered an anger management thing for
dave.Then theres the problem with jess and to do with her
mother ,theres alot of unresolved things going on there and
reakon its time for her to see sumone and talk about it,she
come home from susans the other day askin how to tell
sumone to stop talkin bout sumthin she didnt like,it came
out that the conversation of her mother,she started to cry
again bout it cause she hates even hearin bout her,and as
far as she is concerned cathy isnt her mother i am,i felt
sooooo good hearing that she classes me as her mother.Jess
has even asked me to come with her for her counselling,of
course i said yes.Well thats enough for now i think,i`ll be
back later