2002-05-24 05:30:39 (UTC)

regressing schizotypal

haven't done an entry for a long time. everything is
falling again, and its going to get worse. i finally got
requiem for a dream, haven't watched that yet, for obvious
reasons. ill watch it when i feel im ready. also got an
anime (jin-roh), but my movie-hating personality takes over
and i can't get myself to watch the whole thing, mostly
because my schedule has more little breaks, instead of a
few large ones. anyway, i found out im schizotypal.
basically, its like a less severe schizophrenia. it also
deals with seclusion, social anxiety, and isolation. i
really want to reveal this to everyone, so that they'd all
leave me the fuck alone, but i hate hurting people, and
this would make my parents feel awful, they're way too
involved. and im obviously depressed, as well, i have
practically every symptom. i think my brother can be a
vessel of info for my parents so i won't feel as much
guilt, but that's still kinda slow. whatever, whatever
happens, happens. fuck all, i hate myself