atmsite

LALA LAND
2002-05-23 20:50:13 (UTC)

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

To be together or not to be together, that is the
question. The loved must choose between the two. One is
the one she is with, one is the one she has found. One has
a family. One has a love for her that she thinks she may
have missed out on. Which one to choose? An answer not
easy to come by. Life presents us with choices and those
choices define us. Makes us who we are. I always knew
that there was a chance we might not end up together, but
yesterday was the first time it was really mentioned. I
know I'm on the outside looking in though. She has a life
now. Does she want me more than that life? I thought she
did. By some of the things she said, I thought she did.
Now, I don't know which end is up. Of course I want her to
choose me. I would take care of her. I would love her. I
would be there for her. She would not be sorry for
choosing me. Thats the thing though, she probably wouldn't
be sorry for choosing either one if she decided one was
better than the other. Its a win, win situation for her.
Does she want someone who cares for her or does she want
someone who cares for her? Thats her desicion, who will
care for her more? Of course I'd say I would, with all my
heart, I would. "With all my heart and soul I swear to
take care of you for as long as you would want me to." My
oath to her. The weather today was like my mood, grey.
They canceled the trip to Dewitt. They said we might go
next week though. Four day weekend. Thank God, I need
it. Nick asked if I could go to a softball game tomorrow
with him. One of his many girlfriends is playing. I'm not
sure if he's really going to go, so we'll see. Saturday is
of course the wedding. I'm still not sure what time I'm
going to show up. Maybe around 6 or so. Maybe earlier,
maybe later, who knows? I sure don't. I know I'm gonna
get some sleep this weekend. I feel like I could use some
more. So many things running through my head, and not just
her. I just want her to take her time and make the right
desicion for her. I could say as much as I want and so
could he, but she needs to decide without any of our help.
Anything less and it wouldn't be fair to any of us. So,
choose wisely. Follow your heart and everything else will
follow. Take care. BYE!!!


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