through the looking glass
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2002-05-23 19:15:06 (UTC)

On Dating life and other things

Ok so yesterday I added Alot of rules to my life well today
I explain why. I met a guy who reminded me what it realy is
to wait for love and what it is to be true to how I am. And
to remind me what I beleive in and why... After that
particular realization came the one that now hurts bunches
Because of how fast I tend to move now days Im not use to
the type of guys I really want like Josh M Im more
interested in the type of guys who will just try to use me
without cause and then when they figure out I wont put out
run away. I soo regret alot of last year! I wish it hadnt
happend then everything would be normal. Well I got my
Bright Red Lifeguard suit today it doesnt look to bad on me
when I figure out again how to get in and out of this kind
of suit Ill be good its the right size and feels comfy
probably by the end of the summer it will even be better
fitting. I just have to do a run or two a day and some
stomach and excercizes to make my back look not as icky
other than that Im in a bright orange one peice tank suit
that shoves my brest against my chest. But hey this pool
thing is gonna be an awsome trip I cant wait to work there
Im trying to find another pool to let me work on the days
this one isnt letting me work or some job Ill work at
aarons in the evenings with Jamie if I have to. Living down
here can be cheep relitivly or expensive it all depends on
things right now Im thinkin about investing in some sunless
tanner at least till I get a base coat tan to work from so
I wont look like a ghost when I walk in to work the first
day. I still need CPR class like NOW NOW anyway thats realy
all thats going on today Josh said that as of right now
just friends but hes not closing himself off to a later
relationship hes still on the rebound from Kat and I know
that and I know he doesnt want to get hurt again and I
respect that. And really Im glad that he respects me enough
to not just use me to get over Kat or for his own phisical
enjoyment as many others have. I am a prude I dont even
usualy kiss on the first date I dont know whats been going
on with me lately I just know I like Josh as a friend I
dont know about anything more yet I just met him but he did
remind me of who I am and what Im all about for that I am
ever grateful. So the innocent finally meets the type of
guy she was holding out for all along I just hope that if
this isnt the One God chose for me that the one God choose
is alot like this one I dont think I could take erics type
of guy again not by a long shot. And even if this one isnt
the right guy theres no sence in denying the ability to
hang out as friends as long as we dont compromise the truth
Well thats all for now I guess Josh if you read this your
awsome thanks for reminding me who I am in christ again. No
matter what thats an awsome thing also thanks for reminding
me of my orriginal stance on dating
well gotta go for now Love to all my sisters and brothers
all over the state and around the world