Miyuki82

Book Of Crap
2002-05-23 18:42:40 (UTC)

HIs Buaya Strategy

What the fuckin hell is going on? Everything is so gay....
I don't really know whats this dam life of mine about, and
what the hell i am doing....

I can say after my Junior College years, my life has
turned into a dam frustrating, boring piece of shit. When
i was in secondary school, i still had a goal...to enter a
JC...when i was in JC, i had goals like passing my exams
and so on... I go to school everyday, go around messin up
with my friends... life was fun. When i enter JC, i didnt
even had the thought of entering the university. In fact
all my life, i thought the word univerisity, isn't for
me... I knew that i just couldn't make it....Yesh, indeed,
i didn't. I wasn't too happy with my fate, so i decided to
give it another try.Just like that i wasted one bloody
year. The results aren't out yet. But i know, since i am a
born loser.....god just won't make things right for me. I
couldn't be less bothered.

Recently, i had a goal. I wanted to find a job after my
exams (which is now),earn money, and change myself into a
new person. Train up my pool skills. And SHOW it to
someone.Not a girl, but a guy. Just another stupid plan. I
just want him to change his view of me, i want to jio him.
HAHA! Just like in the past, all my stupid dreams of
inviting the stupid beng from my class to my house bday
party, when i was such a NERDY person. Of coz, those were
just dreams.& Dreams dont come true. I bet this time, its
gonna be another stupid dream too. I am born with his
fuckin face and wat the hell, no matter i try to change
i'll look the same. Or maybe even worse. No matter how i
change, i will still lose to that KH.

U know what. I just couldn't be bothered with HIM
anymore... I don't think what SJ said was crap. He
wouldn't say that if it wasn't true. Yesh, YL is a flirt.
And if you don't analyse things,you won't even realise
that. He made himself sounded so nice, so clean from other
girls... but infact, he has already got a girlfriend, and
he just wouldn't wanna mention it to you. Yesh, i am only
his friend. Just because i am only his friend, the more he
should be frank with me, there is no reason keeping
his "girlfriend stuffs" a secret. And he shouldn't have
called me everyday last time.He didnt need to make things
clear like..that friend he was going out, is a guy... Made
me sound like a buaya victim. What ever that is, that was
the past. At least during that time, i was happy. Its
better if i were not to know too much. There isn't any
point.

Now i am keeping away from him. Not really so, but i just
off my handphone very often, and there is no way he can
reach me. I don't know how many times he has attempted to
call me, or maybe he didn't at all. Though i liked him, i
only treat him as a friend and nothing more. But to him, i
am just some spare tyre cum buaya victim. I still
remembered what happen on 4dec2000.I still remembered he
disappeared without a trace. That was insignificant to
him, but it hurted me alot and he didn't know that. I
don't what him to know about it either. I just want
everything to carry on as usual. i'll be his friend. He'll
be my friend.

I wasn't expecting much. And nothing much is happening
too. I wasn't like before, i don't go out to meet net
friends . Its really hard to find people like the 2 YLs.
If people weren't like them, i rather don't meet them. So
everything remains there. He shall be the last guy who
made me happy...and also made me sob.

who knows, the next thing.....

I might just becum a nun one day.......

Miyuki1982=)




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